I have moved to a new city and state twice. It’s not easy living in a completely new city and state where you don’t know anyone. You have to learn new social dynamics, and it takes time to develop new social circles, and even longer to develop new friendships. So for me, I was not very happy for the first while upon moving to the new places. However, no one likes to be around someone sad or miserable. Think about it – would you like hanging around someone who was always sad and miserable? Most likely not (if you do, you may need to take another look at yourself, maybe go and see someone about it!).
So, what about when you *are* miserable”? Note that this is assuming you do not have a clinical issue like clinical depression, but are just unhappy because you don’t have any friends yet, such as moving to a new city. Well, frankly, in order to make friends when you are miserable, then you must pretend to be happy. You may have heard the phrase “fake it until you make it”. It usually applies to success, but it also applies to success in friendships. If you are not a happy person, or if you are unhappy for whatever reason, then if you want to make new friends then you *must* at least pretend to be happy.
In my experience, I don’t have to pretend the whole time. Why? Because I only have to “pretend” to be happy for the first couple minutes if I was otherwise sad, and soon enough that pretending turns to genuine happiness. You must learn to live in the moment. If you can master putting all things aside and living in the moment with new friends, you can learn to become genuinely happy. As a result, you will have more friends, and then you won’t have to pretend at all.
